When did ‘trying hard’ become such a bad thing?

2 Nov, 2023

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of trying hard. I was scrolling on facebook a few days ago and I came across an ad draped in a meager internet disguise. The link had a POV picture of a bathroom scale displaying a weight with the caption, “I lost 20 pounds and I didn’t even try”… And it got me thinking.

Today’s society has somehow been wrapped in the mentality that our own ‘not trying’ in order to get the results that we’re looking for is the right, the just, and the best way to get things done. Anything else, and you’re doing life wrong. And you’ll likely just be seen as a chump.

As I think more and more about this newly adopted, and glowingly popular life lesson that the less we try, the more we deserve, I get more and more confused. And I ask myself, what is this and how did we get here?

Not too long ago, losing 20 pounds without trying was the sign of a dire, and possibly grave illness. It was cause for concern (or at least an intense dose of parasite medication). And now in today’s age, the only fair, or right way to get what we want is by doing nothing. We expect it all with fierce entitlement, and rigid arrogance. By sitting down with some comfort food, and by languishing - we expect to get what we want.

And here we are. So many of us miserable, bored and confused, sleepwalking through our rightful and gleamingly beautiful existence, missing every elegant spark of inspiration, or curiosity as it flies towards our face and falls to the ground before we get a chance to notice it (let alone, turn it into something we could be proud of).

Our phones comfortably obstructing our own vision of our everdeminishing life as we –sedated by the lull of scrolling– wonder what purchase will make us complete, and why everyone is so annoying today.

What is this world that we are living in? And how did we accept these changes so willingly and quickly?

It has changed our mentality, and who we are. And it’s sad. Because, the truth is, what we can achieve through trying hard, is the true beauty of a life well lived.

The secret, once known by most everyone, is that nothing feels as good as trying hard to achieve something that we know we want. Nothing feels as good as getting somewhere through grit, and tenacity.

We push through those days that we want to just sit down and say ‘screw it’ to whatever it is. But instead, we get up, and we go and we write, or go outside in the cold for that early morning run, or pick up that instrument, or go through yet another drawer of congelated, decades old clutter.

All of this hard work; it’s what we are made of. It’s our conviction, our story, our creativity, our personality. And it’s what makes us amazing.

And if the new goal is to find a way to get something by sitting down longer, or thinking less –our crack at happiness or conviction, or true understanding of what is beautiful about life –it will likely never be ours. It will never be attainable. And sitting down really isn’t all that great unless it’s after some good hard exertion.

What do you want? What do you long for? Is it a cleaner home? A healthier body? To be a kinder person? Moving on to a new profession? To be a better parent? To be better at what you love?

None of this just comes. And none of it ever should. Because if it did, it wouldn’t mean anything to us. Because if you get something for free, it’s so much harder to understand it’s worth. And so it might just become worthless.

Trying hard creates within us the feeling of being vested in our life, and I truly believe that that feeling is what creates the magic.

So my friend, let’s work hard today together. And when we fall asleep after putting in the effort, we will be closer to a version of ourselves that we can be proud of, and there will be something that will pull us into the morning, as we wipe away last nights slumber and we’ll think, “I’ve got things to do!” 🙂

Thank you so much for reading my thoughts,

And let me know in the comments, What are you working hard at? And how do you feel about it?

Talk to you next week,

Lyndsay