Lost in a world that no longer makes sense to me

31 Aug, 2023

I sometimes feel lost in a world that no longer makes sense to me. But, I’m not sure if it’s ever made sense to me, or if it’s really meant to. I spent some time this week looking through my selection of childhood stuff… below average report cards, early school projects, and newspaper clippings from girl guides, and drama trips. What a bittersweet view of a lost girl trying to make her way in the weird and confusing world of the 80’s and 90’s. To someone looking back from today though, that world would seem simple. No internet. Or screen time. No social media.

Nonetheless, my young self would get more and more confused as she went along. As she perpetually perceived herself as falling short, she in turn continued to be taken by the whims of the wind. Her inspirations, and drive were whittled soft and smooth by the stark edges of a world that she didn’t quite understand, or feel welcomed by.

In my innocence, I picked up scraps of purified, distilled insecurities, sadness, and ever diminishing frailness that corroded my conviction, and my belief that the world, and me could be allies. And I floated softly, hiding in plain site, rearranging and confusing the easy, genuine ways of living and loving that had been innate in me. But, as I continued to learn and live, I recognised the power that I had to choose my own journey. And I saw that I had the power to get somewhere that I liked. So, throughout my years, I journeyed to somewhere that I like. And enjoyed a lot of breathtaking scenery along the way.

It makes me wonder about the kids that are growing up now though, in this more digitized, ‘connected’ world.

I see the way that our youth are elegantly swayed to step into the enticing, luxurious dream of online apathy sooner than I did. I found that apathy myself, on my own, without all that this new addiction offers. And because of that, I had a sense that I could find my way out of it as well.

I wasn’t lead there by companies. Pulled by the strings of websites and apps that teach them that the only cure for this sad torturous uncertainty is to connect themselves to a virtual existence; to use their life experiences as supplies, and currency to enter the shiny realm of social media sheen. The young, lost and innocent learn to post, to offer up their confidence and to share pieces of themselves in the hopes of being acknowledged. Yes, that’s the prize… to merely be acknowledged. And in living this way from their youth, they have no way of knowing how parched they are for the opportunity to live a life in the real world, to live a life in service of their own changing curiosities, questions, loves and budding passions.

But it’s certainly not just the young who have been swooned. It’s all of us who have been misdirected by this screen time life.

Do we ever just see the beautiful and interesting things on our journeys through our day merely for ourselves anymore? Or do we, in a grotesque twitch, grab at our phone for a shot or video of the experience, the unfolding moment torn out at the root before it had the chance of becoming a genuine experience…

“People will like that, they’ll be impressed that I caught it.”

But how could we be doing anything but lessening, and destroying our own life experiences by impeding them as they bud forth with a machine in front of our eyes? We block ourselves from what’s happening. We watch it from behind a piece of glass. And in recording it; in taking a photo, we see it as something for someone else to experience, and not as our own experience. We are being pulled from our life by trying to document it for strangers, and random peers. But don’t worry, they’re doing the same thing for us. And it will all be worth it if enough of our friends and strangers click the button of approval. If not, well, we’ve failed…

Where has this world come from? How have we accepted that it’s a nice place to exist? And how have we offered it to our innocent, sponge like children? Just because we’re all doing something doesn’t mean it is making us happy, fulfilled, productive. And it doesn’t mean that it’s the only option, or that we aren’t lost. We covet, we sit alone in frustration and uninspired anxiety laden uncertainty. Our faces aglow in the blue light.

In the meantime, our life dries up and tiny pieces fall around us. We don’t know what we like. We don’t know who we are. And we don’t have time to find the answer either. We’re scrolling. Lost.

What were you sure of in your youth? And what wasn’t fair? What did you love? And what did you lose? What did you learn? And what will you fight to get back?

Please, set down your phone and take a day to experience the world for yourself. Just one day a week. Leave screen time to the outskirts of your Tuesday. Pull out your dreams or passions and infuse a piece of them into your day. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself what you deserve, and let go of trying to impress the world. Notice yourself. And your place within it. You are breathtaking.

Give yourself the right to experience a moment that is only for you and the people you’re with.

Tell fewer people about what you’re up to, and what you’ve experienced. No need for broad announcements. See how it changes the nature of the experience. And how you digest it, what you take from it. See what it feels like to stop sharing tiny pieces to the world at large. Before you get a chance to feel the experience for yourself.

What if we stopped the twitch of trying to quickly show the internet what we saw or did or thought, and how we looked doing it? And what if we let the experience just belong to us? What could that experience become if we kept it as our own? Would our creativity bubble up inside of us? Life happens when we’re living… not when we’re documenting the parts of our life that we think might get a click. We lose an understanding of ourselves when we’re trying to tell the internet that we’re interesting. We are interesting! No need to prove it, just enjoy it.

I’ll let you know that me and a few people here are reclaiming Tuesdays as ‘no phone day’. Please join us, and share your experiences.

Here’s my article on it, 

and join me on instagram if you’d like to as well,

It’s nice to be lost together. Thanks for reading.

Lyndsay