Buying as a hobby is not what we deserve...

So, when we think about it, having an array of choices for things that we might just want to buy ourselves, doesn’t really sound like something that could have any actual negative impacts does it?

Why wouldn’t we want more choices!? If we’re going to spend our hard earned money on something, shouldn’t we get the item that’s exactly what we want?

 And if there are more options for us to peruse, would we not have a better chance of finding that perfect thing?

Maybe.

But I don’t think it’s all quite as clear cut as that. So let’s just do some unpacking so we can see where this ‘option game’ might be going sour…

My personal experience:

So, for myself, when I want to buy something, it can be fun to have more choices. There are times when it feels cumbersome, or overwhelming, but usually I like it. It makes me feel special…

The choosing and the tiny little decisions feel calming and luxurious… deciding on the style, the brand, the colour, the sheen, the specs. Researching the perfect item for me can be soothing really. I can get blissfully lost in the process… And it can become a bit of a rush. 

I wonder, “Which one will I get?” “Do I want the blue or the black one?” “Will I take the plunge and get the fancier, pricier version?” “Should I get the add on’s?” “Do I have the money to get it now?” “Or should I wait for my next paycheck to press that ‘order’ button?” 

It’s all a part of the experience. It feels languid and luxurious, perusing for that perfect thing. And it’s designed that way. Just choosing something that’s quite simple can fill an entire day. Or a week. Or a life… Because it’s designed that way… 

But what parts of our own life might we missing out on, as we wonder about the colour of our 3rd set of dishes?

Where might all these options be taking us?

What might they take from us?

And how might all these constant & overgrowing choices be rearranging, and reconfiguring our life and our motivations?

That’s what I worry could be the actual problem…

It’s the loudness of the temptations, and the fact that it feels like easy, gentle fun. It’s that it feels like time away from a stressful life, while still feeling like very important business. 

And it’s the ease of inadvertently slipping into a way of life that is based on our constantly making these purchase based choices, and buying something… to the loss of other, perhaps more fruitful, fun, fulfilling, or productive choices and endeavours...

And so, here we are. Imagining what we’ll get, when we’ll buy it, and how great we’ll feel (and be) when it’s ours. 

And because we all seem to inherently love to make these choices, and because all the people who are selling to us know that we love to choose, they keep on offering us more and more  choices, and loudly letting us know that we’re missing out if we don’t make them…

“Ahem.. the sale’s almost over…”

So we just keep on choosing. And we slowly start to desire more delightfully delicious choices that can fill up our days, our worries, our lives, and our shelves. 

And suddenly, it’s these choices that make up our life, instead of the things that we can do with, or beyond what we’ve chosen for ourselves.

To me, it sometimes feels like while we’ve been shopping, we’ve lost the plot to the story of a good life. 

And I think that that is the concern in living that life where we’re always in the process of deciding on our perfect next purchase. It’s that it doesn’t tend to end. Once we start searching, there is no point where we feel like the task has been fulfilled. There is always something new. And something that we might miss.

It’s like we started playing basketball, but now we just buy basketball shoes. We started camping but now we just peruse the sales for Patagonia jackets. We started baking but now we just buy cool kitchen gadgets. 

We seem to have turned the tools into the main event.

And suddenly, It’s not about using it, it’s about choosing it.

But a good life isn’t created by the things that we have, or what we chose. It is the work that we do, it’s what we stand behind, and it’s who we stand with.

Is this life of buying the place we want to spend our hard earned life hours, and money? And might there be somewhere else that we’d rather spend more time at? 

For myself, I don’t think it’s the place for me. I have gotten caught up in the world of constantly preparing, and researching for my next purchase. And it didn’t actually make me happy. Not in a sustained way. But I do still keep being pulled in by it. Constantly, And if I don’t keep reminding myself that I want to live life beyond that, I know I will get stuck again.

Spikes, and dips… Like a carnival ride that I just needed to get off. I felt bitter, broke, and uninspired. Unsure, unmotivated, and unproductive. I could see that it wasn’t a life that I wanted for myself. I wasn’t happy there, I was just stuck.

But there was always another letter in my inbox from my favorite store to bring me back to the well worn path, to send me on a foray of mindlessly browsing and delightful decisions on what I’d get next… 

But it doesn’t feel right, and it doesn’t bring me fulfillment.

I started to ask myself, what was it taking me from, and what was it truly offering?

To be thoughtful about what I need, what I want and what I already have changed everything —to realize that I don’t need to keep ‘getting’. So I try to go the purchasing avenue when I really feel that what I’m buying will make my life better, or when I feel like I have a need that can be met with a product that I can buy for myself. 

And after I make a purchase, I expect the backlash of emails and ads suggesting other things that I must also want. It’s set up that way. You buy (or look at) a hoodie, and then every site you go on is advertising to you hoodies just like it… provoking you, to get wrapped into the eco chamber of choosing something else, choosing your next purchase… “remember how good it felt to buy that new hoodie?… Choose a new one”… “Oh you didn’t buy it yet? Look at the options…” “Get one…”

But I find my life feels better, and I feel more creative and more content, when I don’t stay shopping for too long, making a life out of the options and the choices. There is something so very freeing when I realize that I don’t need anything more than what I have right now.

What can we do to get out of the life of incessant choosing?

Embracing the ‘fewer options’ existence is a gift, and a way of life that I have reclaimed for myself. I unsubscribe from the mailing lists that send me ideas for items that they hope I might want. When I want something, I put it on a personal list, and I wait to be sure it’s something that I really actually do want for myself. I don’t let myself be lead to, or by my purchases. I find my way there because there is a gap that I’d like to fill.

Also, I buy things that I truly like —not in relation to trends, and opinions— but in relation to my own deep and lasting tastes and desires. It takes away the confusion. And the clutter. And the need to keep up with everyone else. 

And I think it’s worth holding on to, and fighting for a life like this for myself. I have time and autonomy to do with my life as I see fit now. I don’t get taken by the options, the opinions or the greed of companies who try to entice me to have some fun choosing. Because I know that that ride is vacant.

All that living the ‘option life’ has truly offered me, is the idea that what I have isn’t good enough. And I know that is untrue. So I rebuke it :)

I think it’s a good idea to keep reminding ourselves that product or purchase options are not always the best thing to spend our time on. It’s living and loving, creating, and learning…

So, what should we do today instead of getting caught up in our next purchase? What excites you today? What endeavour might fill, fulfill or fuel you, replenish or excite you right now? 

Lets stop shopping, or contemplating colours, or brands, and just get to those things! 

It could be a book, it could be a walk, it could be a good conversation with friend, or an old hobby that you haven’t picked up in long time. Whatever it is, there is no time like right now, to set down your phone, and offer it to yourself.

I think I’m going to read a book,

‘The things you can see only when you slow down’

So far I am absolutely enjoying it.

Let me know in the comments if you have an idea or a plan for what you’d like to do today… instead of the purchase preparation.

Thank you all so much for listening to my thoughts and for going on the journey with me.

Also, if you’re so inclined, have a look at my YouTube channel and watch a video or two :)

Have a great day,

Lyndsay